It has always been wrong for the U.S. armed forces to tell gays and lesbians that in order to die for their country they have to live in the closet. And that's what gay and lesbian soldiers and officers have been doing all along -- just as closeted sexual minorities have always been working in all walks of life.

The only difference made by the "don't ask, don't tell" law was that the witch hunts were supposed to stop. The status quo of official discrimination was preserved with a wink and a nod. As long as service members lied about their private lives or kept them hidden, nobody was supposed to go digging around to find grounds for dismissal.

In theory, anyway. In practice, it was a different story. More than 13,500 military personnel have been fired since the law was enacted 16-plus years ago, according to the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network.

Some of the discharged got fed up with the official hypocrisy and decided to tell the truth, but many were outed by vengeful ex-partners or other third parties. Defense Secretary Robert Gates acknowledged as much last week in a speech supporting President Barack Obama's welcome move to repeal the law.

"Don't ask, don't tell" is an anachronism, a face-saving measure at the time for the newly elected President Bill Clinton after his attempt to end the ban on gays in the military blew up in his face. As a compromise between banishment and inclusion, it was destined to fail, and it did.

Of course, failed policies are often continued for all the wrong reasons (witness the "war on drugs"). But a lot has changed in American society since 1993. Discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation is increasingly seen as unfair and un-American.

More and more prominent voices are saying so. They include Colin Powell, former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and secretary of state, who has done a complete about-face on the law's efficacy, and Adm. Michael Mullen, the current chairman of the joint chiefs, who said it was his "personal belief" that repeal "would be the right thing to do."

Well, yeah. We are fighting wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, plus an undeclared one in Pakistan and a shadow one against global terrorism. Yet in the last five years, some 800 highly trained service members with critical skills -- Arabic and Farsi linguists, for example -- have been fired under "don't ask, don't tell" even as their superiors complain about a shortage of specialists.

Each of those men and women cost many thousands of dollars to teach, equip, season and support. Purely from an investment standpoint, wasting all those assets is just stupid. From a military readiness point of view, it's downright idiotic.

Then there's the lost opportunity of talented citizens who don't even consider military service because they know they're not wanted -- even as recruiters work overtime to fill their quotas. Not to mention the loss of experienced personnel who decline to reenlist.

Just as important to the argument for repeal is the evolution of public opinion. It was bound to change as more sexual minorities made themselves known as neighbors, colleagues, parents, teachers and classmates.

Gays and lesbians are living openly in many towns, working openly in many fields, praying openly in many religious institutions -- and, yes, serving more-or-less openly in many military units, where fellow soldiers know perfectly well who and what they are, even if they're prohibited from admitting it.

Opposition to this progress continues to come from the bigots, bashers and the religious right, doing their darnedest to stuff their fellow human beings back into the closet. Slowly but surely, they are losing ground.

More employers offer same-sex benefits. More state and local measures protect gays and lesbians from workplace discrimination, a safeguard already afforded to federal employees. More child welfare agencies recognize same-sex couples as good parents. More young adults view sexual orientation as irrelevant to friendship, character or job performance.

Same-sex marriage is legal in five states, and will be in the District of Columbia if Congress ever approves local legislation allowing it. Ten states recognize civil unions or domestic partnerships.

In California, the unlikely duo of David Boies and Ted Olson, lawyers on opposite sides of the Supreme Court's 2000 Bush v. Gore case, have joined forces to overturn California's Proposition 8, which outlawed same-sex marriage. Mr. Olson, a lifelong conservative, calls the ban an unconstitutional interference in the private lives of citizens.

Negative stereotypes still flood the popular culture, but there are more nuanced, fully human depictions all the time (see Sonja Sohn as Det. Greggs in HBO's "The Wire" and Colin Firth in the film "A Single Man").

So it makes sense that a Zogby International poll in 2006 found that 73 percent of military personnel were comfortable with gays and lesbians, and that one in four troops who served in Afghanistan or Iraq knew a member of their unit who was gay.

It also makes sense that an ABC News/Washington Post poll in 2008 showed 75 percent of Americans support gays serving openly, compared to 44 percent in 1993. And that a 2009 Gallup poll showed repeal of "don't ask, don't tell" was favored by 60 percent of weekly churchgoers as well as by 58 percent of those who identified themselves as conservative or Republican.

No doubt there will be a backlash against repealing "don't ask, don't tell." There always is where social progress is concerned. Anti-gay forces will cite polls on the other side, not to mention the fear of shower ogling.

But the underlying prejudices that fueled the 1993 law are nowhere near as powerful today. Sixteen years may not be long in the grand scheme of things, but for "don't ask don't tell," it ought to be a lifetime.

Looking for more from the Post-Gazette? Join PG+, our members-only web site. You'll get exclusive sports content, opinion, financial information, discounts from retailers and restaurants, and more. Our introduction to PG+ gives you all the details.